I see you...

Fair warning... this post is not for the faint of heart or easily grossed out... This is my life. A life of a mom.

But you know... sometimes there are days when I just don't want to hear one more, "mom!!" or anything of the sort for the rest of the day. This includes ma, mama, madre, mamita, mamasita, mum, mummy, mommy... Like right now my three year old is screaming my name very panicky and somewhat hysterically from the bathroom because his 'poop is going in the water'. W. T. F. We've been potty trained for quite some time. After three times of going into the bathroom I told him that I'm done. I didn't want to talk about his poop anymore (besides here obviously). I was also checking to make sure he wasn't in fact touching his poop with the toilet scrub brush... again. This morning I went to clean the toilet and bathroom before company came over. Guess what I found... I found a decent amount of poop on the brush. Like a whole episode of pooping amount of poop on the brush. Seriously?!? That went out to the trash. The whole brush and holder. Disgusting. I wanted to know why and when but really I don't. I then scrubbed with a different brush, mopped, etc. Really I just wanted to bleach everything in site... but well... I can't bleach anything without bleaching myself. I couldn't fathom getting bleach cleaner on my new Seahawks shirt. Sigh.

Friday night consisted of being vomited on by the one year old. Like all over my chest as we were walking out of his bedroom. I Matrixed my stance and balanced a puking baby, the puke and whatever dignity I had left all the way to the laundry room as I yelled for Chris to please come help me. I think one of the most terrifying moments for me was trying to get my shirt off without getting it on my face or in my hair. When your hair is practically down to your butt the last thing you want to do is get anything like that in your hair. By the time I stripped me down, stripped the baby down (after using his jammied foot to get liquid off of my chest) and started the shower I had no dignity left. None. But I did have a mission. Clean baby. Clean mom. No more vomit. Success. 

Being a mother is probably my greatest accomplishment and most difficult at times. Please don't get me wrong... if a lot of poop on the end of the toilet brush is the worst of it... I'm not so bad off. I know that... but no matter who you are or where you are... being a mom is hard sometimes. Being a mom is exhausting. This week I had a moment when I really just wanted to hug a woman who very obviously had a rough moment of being a mom. I posted on a local Facebook page in hopes that she'd see it. In the moment I just couldn't muster up enough of a clear thought to say anything. That and well... I chickened out. What I really wanted to do, in the moment, was scold her teenage daughter for being so incredibly disrespectful. I didn't have enough perspective in the moment to feel for her as a mother because I only saw her daughters misbehavior. I wanted her to know that what I saw wasn't a reflection of her parenting to me. I realized that in that moment she probably just needed to hear that I understood her. That I knew that her daughters lack of respect didn't really have anything to do with her parenting per se. That I know some children are more difficult than others. That sometimes our children make poor choices. I wanted her to know that I saw her as a mom ,no matter what any of us saw, I knew she was a good mother. (I could see her groceries. Told me everything I needed to know. Just kidding...LOL) But really I think that sometimes we are so quick to pass judgment on anyone who is different from us whether it's the way we parent, discipline, feed, guide, how our children behave, etc. But who am I to say anything? I'm just me. The oldest of many children, a mom, an aunt, a niece... I have my own experiences. Some failures and some successes. (i.e. Puking child turned clean). I have figured out what works for me (most of the time) but I'm learning new things daily.

More recently some friends of ours unknowingly touched a part of my heart that I don't really ever talk about. In conversation, Q & A's, they said they thought I was a great mom. I wanted to cry. Right there, barefooted and a baby on my hip, in the middle of their kitchen I wanted to burst into tears. Part of it was the hormones of being a woman and tired mother, part of it was the moment and part of it was because I think that sometimes, just like in my experience earlier in the week, it's not heard as often as our hearts need to hear. It wasn't an "oh you're such a great mom!" in a cheesy-you-have-to-say-it way. It was the intent and sincerity behind the words. I knew that when they said it, in that  moment, it was how they really felt.

It's not always the suggestion or voice of perception but really about the timing. (Just so you know, you two had perfect timing. Thank you for telling me that what you think I'm doing is not less than acceptable. ;) You two will make great parents when you're ready... and I can't wait to watch the two of you grow in way that will far exceed anything you ever thought  you could do.)

I guess right now I just wanted to make sure that all wonderful mom, mommy, mummy, mamasita, mamita, madres, mami's of the world know that I see you. You're doing alright. :) Even when you think you couldn't be any more "off"... you're probably right "on". And whether your single, taken, complicated, working, a SAHM, a grammy, a nana, an aunt, a sister... What you're doing couldn't be any more important and life has been forever changed because of what you do and have done. I see you.

And at this very moment (because I'm too lazy to go back through this blog and change some titles and stuff) I think it is just as equally important to point out that it's not just mom's. I know that there are plenty of dad's, grandfathers, uncles, and brothers that are taking care of children. Raising and guiding. Helping with homework, potty training, putting on jammies and reading stories. You are also helping teach life lessons and helping our youth learn right from wrong. I see you too.

Rock your shit awesome parents of the world! Keep kicking ass at your parenting. Even if your kids puke on you and you want to cry. Or puke also.